Nedeljna misa:
Evolving our Social Agreements: What is a man? What is a woman?
Interview with Renata Murez and Nyei Murez
By Maria Sole Solinas, Maria Capaldi, Rumi della Picandola
Renata Murez and Nyei Murez are the Creative Co-Directors of Cleargreen, the Los Angeles company that sponsors Tensegrity® workshops. Tensegrity® is the modern adaptation of the way of wellbeing taught to Carlos Castaneda, Florinda Donner-Grau, Taisha Abelar and Carol Tiggs by don Juan Matus, a Yaqui Indian seer from Yuma, Arizona and Sonora, Mexico. Cleargreen brings a Tensegrity®/ Theater of Infinity® workshop to Fiuggi, Italy on November 23 and 24, 2013, where participants will be guided by students of Castaneda and his colleagues, and their Associate Tensegrity® Instructors, in the art of Tensegrity® movement, self-awareness, and Theater—all to bring an enhanced awareness of how to be the conscious author of one’s own agreements, especially those related to gender in a changing social environment.
• What is an agreement in the context of this workshop?
Carlos Castaneda wrote that the world itself that we experience day-to-day is an agreement. We are taught as children how to see and understand the world in a way that everybody agrees on. However, what we call reality is only one way of seeing the world, a way set up by our social consensus. And that social consensus sets up our list of options in life—and we silently agree, setting a limit to our nearly limitless possibilities, clipping our own wings, so to speak. Or we may rebel, and spend a lifetime pushing against what we were taught, rather than claiming the many and varied gifts we were given and discerning which ones nurture our own values, dreams and aspirations.
It’s our journey in life, if we choose, to find and live those dreams, to access the best of what we learned from our families and cultures, and at the same time to move beyond limiting agreements, to regrow our feathers, to find our heart’s true agreements, and productive, enhancing agreements with others.
This is illustrated very well by the Latin origin, accordare, of the word ‘agreement,’ in Romance languages–accordo in Italian, accord in French, acuerdo in Spanish. The root word refers to being of one heart, resonating from heart to heart, or essence to essence. The heart is where we are each linked with our energy being—our inner twin, or soul essence, the part of us that travels in dreams and our imagination, and which helps us to link more directly with Spirit, the vast intelligence of Infinity. And it is this place of being with one’s own heart essence and making agreements from it, imbued with Spirit, that our upcoming workshop in Italy explores.
• Can’t we live without agreements? Why change/evolve our agreements?
On one level, just about everything we do is based on an agreement. We are very interdependent with each other and with nature and the universe for our most simple day-to-day actions and experiences. Just eating a meal is a miracle of agreement, involving countless unseen hands, centuries of tradition and knowledge about farming, food preparation, etc. You can’t drive a car or travel on public transport, or play a sports game, without social agreements. The agreed-upon guidelines allow everyone to participate. Also saying, “Please,” and “Thank You” and “I’m sorry” reflect social agreements that allow us to acknowledge one another and to accept our own flaws. The challenge comes when we enter “agreements” that our essential being, is not in alignment with—likely due to a belief system that says we “must” do it, or we will not be accepted. For example, you might say you are sorry for something that you are not sorry for, just to get along. Or you might set aside something you are passionate about, because your family doesn’t approve of it. Such agreements cloud or fog our essence. When we discussed the topic of agreements with our cosponsors for this workshop, they seemed to be looking at agreements on certain belief systems about gender, and how to orient themselves in a social environment where those agreements are changing, agreements such as: “A man should never show weakness; he has to be strong and in control and know the answers,” or “A woman should be mysterious and capable both in the home and at work, but she can’t excel too much at work, or she will be undesirable.”
It is these agreements that we want to acknowledge that we have, and to become conscious of, as much as possible, about where within our family or culture we learned them. And then we can decide what to keep, and what to change.
This is where we have to examine our belief systems, and ask: Who is agreeing or disagreeing here? Is it my ego? Is it a younger version of the ego—the child? The teenager? Or is it my timeless essence? If we are in the ego, we are caught in a limiting experience of time and space, and our language tends to be caught in the past, or the future, and expresses itself in vague phrases like, “They did this to me,” “He or she will never change,” “You always disappoint me,” etc. etc. From the ego’s viewpoint, everyone else should work around us and conform to our expectations. And if they don’t we play the victim. If we are in our timeless, limitless essence, we are connected to the vastness of Spirit. Spirit moves through us, and we can’t take everything so personally. We may genuinely disagree with someone or something, yet we are able to do so in a way that creates something new. We can allow disagreement to be part of diversity, growth, and discovery, rather than enmity. We can move from, “What they did to me,” to “What I can do differently now to move forward” or even “What did I do to cause them to do that,” which is then something we can change.
• I can see that I easily absorbed a lot of limiting agreements taught by the powerful people in my family and life. If now I consciously decide to make new agreements, for example “I want to be a free woman,” but I do not have a real, concrete model in front of me of a woman who is truly free, will it be more difficult for me to keep this new agreement?
First we would ask: What is your idea of ‘a free woman?” It may mean “a woman who lives from her essence, who is consciously connected to Infinity.” However, for the ego, it may mean, “I get to do what I want when I want to.” That’s not really freedom. Freedom, from the essence, means freedom to respond to others, and to my environment, in a responsible way—meaning I take responsibility for my part in agreements, or in disagreements—and I let the others take theirs. And I let my actions be guided by Spirit.
With regard to female role models, you can look at what your mother and her mother, your aunts your sisters, your friends your teachers gave you. Chances are they gave you a lot!!! Very possibly, even likely, is that they dreamt that you would be free to live possibilities that were not available to them. What did you learn from them? What did they model well for you?
And whatever they modeled that you didn’t like or agree with, most likely helped you decide how you want to live, what you yourself want to be and to model in your own life. This is where gratitude comes in—recognizing that they did their best, and being grateful for the gifts and lessons they gave you.
Exemplifying this are women who serve as models in history, in the media, in your community.
One such woman is the distance swimmer Diana Nyad, who recently became, at the age of 64, the first person to swim from the coast of Havana to Key West without a shark cage. In doing so, she swam past the limiting agreement that 64-year-old women don’t set distance swimming records. She left the sport of distance swimming at 30 to become a sports announcer. However, when Diana reached the age of 60, she became inspired by her mother’s death, and paused to ask herself the question, “Am I living the life that I admire?” For her, this was not a question about what she wanted to do, but who she wanted to be. And in the face of her mother’s departure, Diana could enact the same fearlessness and accomplish some unfinished longing that had been with her throughout life. Against all medical agreement that a woman her age could not make the 110 mile swim from Cuba to Florida, Diana, following her essence, trained, assembled a 35-person team, got sponsorships, and attempted the swim four more times (she had already made her first attempt in her twenties). She endured severe jellyfish stings and other hardships, before succeeding on her fifth attempt. Her mantra throughout her journey was, “Find a way.” And through all those hours and weeks and months and years, whether on the first trial or the fifth, she never doubted that she would make the crossing.
Another example is Malala Yousafzai, the 16-year-old girl from Swat Valley, Pakistan who very much supported by her father’s belief in her and her cause, was recently nominated for the Nobel Peace prize for her work to defend the right of girls in her valley, and in the world to go to school, and who survived being shot for her efforts, and is coming out stronger than ever with her message that everyone, including the children of the man who shot her, should have the right to an education and the best opportunities in life. In other words, she knows that her goal is bigger than her person, while accepting some of the best of her family line.
On a smaller scale, this can be us. With this workshop, we could possibly identify some of the gender agreements that are holding us back, and from our essence, make new agreements and take one step at a time toward a new way of each living lives we admire, where we become, in conjunction with Spirit, the authors of our own agreements.
• Looking at my family there are gender agreements that are rooted in my ancestors, passed on from one generation to another. For example, my grandparents’ generation shared an agreement that the husband was the authority in the house, and the wife must take care of the house and children and also work alongside the husband in the fields. Now, as a man, I am trying to avoid imitating my grandfather, but am afraid to take any kind of authority role as a result. How can I change these agreements that feel so strong that they seem to be part of my genetic code?
You are correct in your observation that yours, and all of our family agreements extend farther back than our immediate mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings, and family friends.
Carlos Castaneda spoke about how awareness itself is an environment, or a field where thought travels instantaneously.
Today, scientists in the field of Epigenetics describe something very similar: Generation after generation, our inherited emotional and behavioral imprints keep showing up in our lives. Unknowingly we may carry our ancestors’ unresolved issues generations later. This information is encoded in our energy fields, DNA and cellular memories and has an affect on our health and well-being: mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Biochemist and Plant Physiologist, Rupert Sheldrake talks about morphogenetic energy fields as invisible organizing patterns that act like energy templates to establish forms at various levels of life. For example, when Olympic athlete Sir Roger Bannister broke the four-minute mile, he created a new morphogenetic field. Once this new field was created, many runners suddenly could run four-minute miles, because they now had the permission or option to do so. And this occurs every time humankind breaks into a new paradigm. This is the value of Theater of Infinity®. When you practice Theater of Infinity®, you play in the environment of awareness that you are living in as your reality. What this Theater does is reveal these old fields of limitation, stuck energy and patterns, so that you are now conscious of these energies and dynamics in your field, and their origin, whether that source be your ancestors, early childhood, or adulthood. And once conscious of these, you can clear the field of the old limitations, find and rely upon that inner essential strength we all have hidden beneath our patterns, and create new fields that allow for new options. In the field of Epigenetics, as well as in Tensegrity®, inheritance is no longer just about which genes and patterns you dominantly inherit, but which genes you switch on and off depending upon your intent to evolve.
• Is it possible that women and men can integrate these two aspects (masculine and feminine) inside of ourselves?
Yes! Both genders have to ultimately accept both sides of themselves – their feminine and masculine characteristics within, regardless of whether they view these pieces as overpowering and angry or weak and vulnerable.
Accepting whichever traits you have, regardless of gender and from whichever gender you received them, and taking responsibility to change or keep them is where conscious transformation begins.
Once we have cleared some limiting patterns, then we can accept our full spectrum of feeling and capabilities, integrating the strengths of what we regard as masculine and feminine within each of us—the masculine and feminine parts of our lineage, and of our own nature. We can be strong and nurturing, assertive and caring, protective and giving, in connection with Spirit.
• What are the implications of making agreements directly with my essence (energetic body/ energy being)?
Being with our essence, being aligned with our heart, mind, emotions and body, and spirit, all at the same time, is beyond gender, race, age, and socio-economic agreements. It is the ability to adopt and play any attribute necessary for the moment, regardless of the label society or ourselves have given it. It is having the strength and courage to acquiesce to the abstractness of Spirit, and thus the abstractness within ourselves, to let it guide us through life.
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